Shark Bait
by Amethyst Hunter
Summary: Oneshot. Revenge is a dish best served poisoned to over-amorous high school girls. With a side of scalpel, of course. Mild implied Himiko x Akabane.


Title: Shark Bait

Author: Amethyst Hunter

Rating: G

Word count: 788

Warnings/Spoilers: Only if you haven't seen the anime's infamous High School Girl Vs. Retrievers episode.

Notes: Based on a springkink prompt. Prompt – "camaraderie"/"let's be bad guys"

Disclaimer: GB and its loverly transporters sadly aren't mine.

Summary: Revenge is a dish best served poisoned. With a side of scalpel, of course.

--

What those two saw in each other, Himiko would never guess, although she had her own theories as to one of them. When a squealing Riko Tachibana had run up to her partner and flung her arms around him professing undying adoration, Himiko had recognized the starry glint of clueless fanaticism even from afar.

She groaned again. If she'd only gone inside the office with Akabane to make the delivery instead of waiting outside, they might not be in this predicament. Splashing victims with poison perfume in full public view not only reflected poorly on her professionalism, it was a fast ticket to police trouble.

Akabane never wavered in his calm, never displayed any sign of agitation, as Riko continued to chatter at him rapid-fire. Every time when it appeared he could safely excuse himself without appearing rude, the girl would launch into another spiel about some insignificant sphere of her existence. And Akabane, stickler for manners that he was, just stood there and took it, managing to interject a few murmurs of polite acknowledgment from time to time.

Spitefully, Himiko felt that it served him right to have his ears talked off. It was Ban's fault for introducing them to the little twit in the first place, but it was Akabane's fault for encouraging her to stalk dangerous transporters like some crazed groupie. He'd foolishly given her his contact information when she'd asked, after all.

Still, she couldn't help but feel a twinge of pity for the good doctor as well. He had to be bored out of his skull, forced to listen to all the minute-by-minute details of a day in the life of your average high school teenager, and one rather shallow at that. Himiko still hadn't forgiven Riko's comments about her personal life – or rather, lack thereof.

Inspiration conspired with impatience, and an idea came to her mind. She knew exactly how to get back Akabane and stick it to her heckler at the same time. Smiling deviously, Himiko strode firmly towards the wayward Jackal and his fangirlish captor.

" - and when I graduate my parents are going to throw me the biggest party EVER, it's going to be so cool, with flowers and presents and a DJ and a swimming pool! You have to come, Akabane-san!"

"Mmm. I'm sure that will be nice..."

"THERE you are, Kuroudo darling!"

Two pairs of startled eyes, one livid, the other bewildered, watched as Himiko walked right up to Akabane and pulled him down for a very demonstrative kiss. Ignoring Riko's furious sputters, Himiko wrapped her arms around Akabane and smiled at him. "Honey, remember the appointment at the jeweler's for the ring sizings? We'll still make it on time if we leave now."

Akabane blinked. He did have beautiful eyes when he was surprised.

Himiko pretended to just now notice Riko's presence. "Oh, I'm sorry," she said with false sweetness. "I haven't introduced myself, have I?"

Akabane coughed awkwardly. "Riko-san, this is my - "

"I know her!" Riko hissed like a scalded cat. "She's that awful tomboy with the horrible motorcycle! She almost KILLED me!"

"I'm sure she had a very good reason for it," Akabane said kindly. "Lady Poison does not grant just anyone the honor of death at her hands, you know."

Himiko pushed down the impulse to drown this brat in corrosion perfume and widened her smile to fanged proportions. "So kind of you to keep my fiancee' entertained briefly. He does so enjoy humoring children, you see."

Although Riko's face didn't quite reach the same tint as the blood from one of Doctor Jackal's Js, the bright red shade of her skin was nonetheless a most satisfying sight. "You – you – you - "

Himiko quickly cast a meaningful look at the still slightly confused Akabane. "Kuroudo, love, shall we go?" Without waiting for an answer, she squeezed his hand in a bone-cracking grip and pulled him away before Riko could burst their eardrums with her outraged screeching.

Akabane hurried to keep up with her, his free hand clutching his hat. "Himiko-san – what on earth was that all about?"

"I just saved you from a fate worse than death. You can thank me later."

"So you did. I appreciate your intervention, in that case," a relieved Akabane mused. He hesitated, and then asked, "Did you really attempt to kill Riko-san like she said?"

"I wish," Himiko muttered.

Akabane chuckled. "I suppose this means our engagement is off now."

"That depends," Himiko told him archly. "I heard Kyouji Kagami is in town for our next assignment. You know what they say about diamonds and a girl's best friend..!"

"The couple that bleeds together, stays together," her happy homicidal partner agreed.


End file.
